30 things to do during lockdown
- Start a jigsaw puzzle
- Curse Bibi for getting us into this. He really was much better in the first lockdown.
- Bless Bibi, because there really isn’t an alternative
- Just turn the TV off, because you can’t stand self-righteous politicians anymore.
- Cook and eat and cook some more and eat some more. Is there a pattern here?
- Debate in one of your 6000 WhatsApp groups what the all-time best albums are. The all-time best Israeli albums. The worst albums. That’s half an hour of your day wasted.
- Go for a walk. With a friend. 500 metres from home. Oh shit. That was yesterday’s restrictions.
- Demonstrate. Until the Knesset outlaws it
- Demonstrate anyway. Let’s see ‘em arrest me
- Escape overseas. Ben Gurion is open. Whoops. See no. 7. Who will have us anyway? Where is safe, anyway?
- Participate in yet another zoom meeting/conference/webinar.
- Binge watch the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars series in chronological order, Harry Potter films and all 7 seasons of Game of Thrones (You could be excused for missing the final season). But what will I do next week?
- Get in your car. Start your engine. Punch a destination into Waze. Reverse out of you driveway. Pull back into your driveway. At least it gives you the feeling you’ve going somewhere.
- Read another James Patterson/Tom Clancy/Lee Childs/Jo Nesbo/David Baldacci novel. Or alternatively, another Jojo Moyes/Jennifer Weiner/Lisa Jewel/Celeste Ng novel. No gender stereotypes here. No sir.
- Exercise with Avri every morning at 8.30. Now we’re getting really desperate.
- Dream about all the places you want to go to when all this is over
- Cook some comfort food, because we need all the comfort we can get.
- Get your clothing cupboard in order. In any case half of the things don’t fit anymore.
- Watch the Ha’am Mitpater skit from zehu zeh. Again. And again. It will go into the long list of zehu zeh classics. If you don’t understand Hebrew, ask someone to translate. It is essential viewing.
- Book a corona test. You don’t really have any symptoms, but they’re easy to invent. At least it’s a legal excuse to get in the car, stand in a theoretically socially distant line, and talk to some people who you don’t know.
- Buy a subscription to Hulu, Amazon Prime and Disney + because you’ve finished everything that’s interesting on Netflix.
- Run the Boston marathon, on the spot, on your TV.
- Has it really been 6 months already?
- Take comfort in the fact that as bad as it seems here, we’re not the most screwed up country in the world. Need I explain?
- Get up at 9.00 and don’t feel guilty. Stay in your pyjamas all day and don’t feel guilty. Miss a shower today and don’t feel guilty. Be in bed by 10.00 and don’t feel guilty. Guilt in the Jewish world is over-rated, anyway.
- Think about maybe, at some point, contemplating the possibility of perhaps starting a diet.
- Count all the people you know who are in isolation. Count all the people you know who have confirmed cases of Covid19. Geeze. The circle around me is tightening very quickly.
- Do CBD and edibles really work?
- Try making some minor repairs at home. It will give me something to do, even if I’m about as good with my hands as Mesi is at badminton. In any case, I can’t afford to pay my usual handyman at the moment.
- Start the list again, because we’re going to be in lockdown a long time.